Thursday, September 20, 2012

Longing for God's Help: A rereading of Psalm 42, on internship

Like a deer wandering in trees' shadow
does my heart wander, looking for God.
When shall I finally behold God's face?
When will I again feel God beside me?
Tears have been my food, both night and day,
while those who would judge me ask, "Where is your God?"
Where is my strength, my rock, and my Redeemer?
Where is the One in whom I put my trust?
All that I knew and was sure of is gone.
My hope is in God, who I strive to praise--
my only help is my God, who I cannot see.

I pour out my soul when I remember:
how I walked with the people of God,
how I led them in the house of God,
how we sang and shouted praises,
a great multitude keeping festival.
I led your people, O my rock and my God;
why do you not lead me?
My soul is cast down, my heart trembles;
I long for God's people, for the people of the living God.
My hope is in God, who I strive to praise--
my only help is my God, who I cannot see.

My heart is fallen, my soul withers;
I strive to remember you, even in my exile.
Deep cries out to deep; the waves of my sorrow
crash against the thunder of your strength.
Be near me, O God, as near as the day and night;
remind me of the beauty of your steadfast love,
and sing to me if you are near.
Have you forgotten me?
Why do I walk in sorrow, with a heavy heart?
My pain is like a wound struck deep,
and again and again they ask me:
"Where is your God?"
My soul is cast down, my heart trembles;
My hope is in God, who I strive to praise--
my only help is my God, who I cannot see.

2 comments:

  1. Thanks for sharing this, Emmy. I really needed this. I also feel seriously displaced, alone, and disconnected from both people and God, and reading this lament really made me feel like others understand. Blessings!

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  2. I second with Gwen. I am in a mega church and feel like most of my creativity and desire to reflect and journal gets sucked out of me. But the last few lines reminded me of Hagar- she names God as the God who sees her when she is displaced, alone, and afraid. Peace!

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