Sunday, October 3, 2010

I love what I do.

I woke up totally exhausted today.  I've napped something fierce this weekend, but I'm still only clocking in five hours a night, and it's showing.  I had a throbbing headache and real attractive dark bags under my eyes.  I considered staying in bed.  But when you're the children's education associate, you don't have an option to not clock in.  So I took a hot shower and chugged some coffee and prayed for grace.

A lot of my kids come in with sleepy eyes, so I try to get them up and moving as much as I can.  Today:  yoga stretches to start.  Charades and singing in big group.  Storytime with actions (the Spark curriculum + Story Bible is SO AWESOME at prompting this).  Charades in small group.  Drawing.  A little dance to end the morning.

I felt exhausted when worked this out last night, and feel the same when I think about it now, but in the moment, it worked.  And my head stopped hurting.

Our Gospel lesson today, Luke 17, tells us to acknowledge our absolute undeservedness:  "So you too, when you've done all you were told to do - say 'We're worthless slaves.   We've done only what we were told to do!'"

This week, in discipleship group, we talked about how the same words can be Law to some and Gospel to others.  I can definitely hear "worthless slave" as a condemnation - especially in my many works-righteous moments.  I can be insulted, angry, hurt - after all the time and energy I put into this, I'm supposed to write it off as "only what I was told to do"?!

I can write about that another day.  Today, these were words of grace, the Gospel thinly veiled.  Yes, I'm exhausted.  But this isn't about me.  I'm not doing children & youth ministry for me.  I'm not going to seminary for me.  It actually doesn't matter if I'm exhausted, as long as I'm willing to commit myself to do what I'm told to do.

Another day, this will be law - condemning and painful.  Today, it's grace, and I rest in it.

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